Why so crazy 22.03.2020
I am very grateful to some friends whom we caught up with this weekend (after a session at the range securing a Vitamin D infusion) – we were able to escape the world gone panicked and mad syndrome that is currently taking over. Whilst we are very well aware of the implications of what is going on in the world, we may come across as flippant. This is our coping mechanism. I am not a doomsayer, however, at the moment I am a little partial to a few conspiracy theories, which are also not my usual concepts.
I wonder where this virus came from. Is it biological warfare? Is it an attempt to control everyone? Who released information? What are the actual figures? What is the actual impact (on many levels)? What are the real symptoms? What steps should I really take? Because, now I am questioning what is real and what is not.
I am grateful for having seen the beautifully green countryside that only months ago was crispy brown, where there was coverage of dirt. I am grateful to see the hare run alongside the road and then disappear back into the greenery. I am enthralled watching 2 then 3 crazy hounds race around, playing tiggy, romping and delighting in gaining as many weeds and cobblers’ pegs as possible in their long coats and quietly a little envious of the fact that they are oblivious to this world gone a little off kilter. I am grateful, as I re-acquaint myself with the iron, that I have a wardrobe of clothes (their fit is another matter). I am grateful that whilst we have limited food in our cupboards, fridge and freezer because we shop for what we need, there is food for us to eat. I am grateful that we have a swag and a tent and an airbed, a couple of eskies and means to cook over our butane burner cookers. I am grateful to be able to simply be in the moment at times over this weekend, to simply sit and observe people, to see the clarity of the water at the Manly Marina, to appreciate that life is pretty okay whatever I am feeling in a moment, whether that is joy, or disappointment or something else.
I am, however, concerned. I am concerned, in no particular order, for those who are already afflicted with this condition which is causing hysteria around the world; for the impact upon our health system that has not been properly funded for a long time and simply cannot cope with what it is being called upon to handle; for superannuation funds which will be loan facilities (although probably much prettier in what is publicly known) for the government to meet the stimulus package programmes that they are putting in place; for the impact upon my tax regime and how much more I am going to be called upon to contribute (yes this is selfish however I already pay a significant amount of tax per week); upon the NBN with greater demand and different demand upon it with people working from home, in time students being at home; upon the mental health of a lot of people (already experiencing this ourselves); upon family relationships and the increase in domestic violence as a result of partners working from home in difficult situations where they already have a tenuous relationship; upon the children in those situations and upon the parent/child relationship where parents are not normally with their children for such lengthy periods of time and having to amuse and entertain them endlessly; upon the staff at call centres and at grocery stores and various places who are the front line for angry people; sudden fuel spikes in the city for no apparent reason (30-40c per litre this weekend); for the impact on those stood down and therefore not able to claim Centrelink because that have not lost their job; for those who cannot do their weekly shop and have not panicked in this whole debacle; the various employees and employers who have to make difficult decisions; for flight staff, wait staff and various other casuals who cannot get contracts because of uncertainty or who are let go; upon so many aspects of life that we cannot begin to turn our minds to because there is a focus upon the human toll which remains proportionately low as against things like measles and the usual flu which travels the world year in year out.
Our health system cannot cope. It has been decimated over the years. There will be profiteering – there always is in a time of struggle, we are seeing it already. I am disappointed in humans generally because of how we have behaved and the extremes we have seen over the last 6 months in this country. There are those who give and give and give and there are those who simply take. We are a laughingstock for the aisle behaviour over toilet paper. For why? What is the source of that behaviour? It came from somewhere and it is not simply because of the socio-economic level; it is generated by fear from media and that is fed from where?
I am disappointed because our plans for a lovely 4-week vacation have been rearranged several times now. I am disappointed that we, potentially, will not be able to spend our hard-earned coin in fire ravaged areas and small towns where our meagre input might make a difference to someone’s life. I am disappointed that we cannot support those trying to make a living from Airbnb as the situation stands at the present time. I am disappointed that we do not have leadership. I am disappointed for many things that I simply cannot articulate at the moment. My mood is a little as reflected in the dress I am ironing.
What is a life worth? That is a huge question that will take a long time to really answer and reason through. What is the impact for many when relatively few are affected? Why do we act with such panic rather than questioning what we are fed? I value my life. I value my freedom. I do not like it being restricted. I appreciate that there is a virus causing mischief, I appreciate the impact upon the vulnerable but how do you “isolate” everyone. How do you absolutely definitely guaranteed stop the spread of any condition? The vaccinations work only so long as people are willing to use them and even then, they will not work for everyone and cannot completely stop a condition. Whilst there may be flu vaccines, they will always minimise; they cannot stop, a flu.
I propose to try and continue to go about life as normally as I can. The weekend has been a good time for reflection. I still want to try and explore and venture out on my 4 weeks leave. I still want to shop week to week without having to worry about people decimating the shelves and stockpiling for Armageddon. I struggle to laugh at times and have had sense of humour failure several times recently. The last week has been a pretty challenging one and there have been some challenging weeks. Not one of us will be unaffected by this. May we take from it resilience; an opening of minds and the willingness to question rather than simply taking in information like sheep; a willingness to travel by not only the conventional means but also through clothes, shoes, food, wine etc in no particular order (although going to a place remains my preferred option); general and basic sanitation and respect for human life which we should not have to be educated about.
This period of challenge will come to an end. For now, I find myself re-friending the iron, taking time to reflect, to work out what is important to me, to consider what is “essential” and “non-essential”. For us, essential is the ability to be able to travel, to clear our heads of the chatter of day to day life and work and the stresses that that places upon us. So, we consider our plans C, D and E which have been formulated over the last few days and hope, quietly hope, that over the next 14 or so days, the world settles down a bit, things come back to a level of “normality” and we (yes I am being selfish here) can enjoy a little space and travel to bring our mental health back into some sort of alignment as we gear for the financial on flow once the medical situation has been resolved.
So, this afternoon, I wish you a “safe” week, without too many disappointments, with sufficient for your needs and a glass that is half full ready for what is no doubt going to be a challenging time for a little while to come.
